Fearless Shopping, Joyful Dressing

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” – Katharine Hepburn

There are a lot of people out there who are eager to tell us how we should or should not dress. The media warns us to stay within the boundaries that our body and age assign us and teaches us that a successful dresser is one who can take a cold hard look at herself and then disguise what is “wrong.” For a long time, I didn’t question this notion and, therefore, never looked for clothing that made me look good or feel happy and special. Instead, I looked for what wouldn’t make me seem unaware of my own shortcomings. Changing my attitude on this matter actually made a big difference, not only in how I shop, but also in how I feel about myself.

Over time, I’ve learned from my customers that when you approach it with an open, creative spirit, finding clothing that makes you feel like your best self can actually be a joy rather than a chore.  There’s something really transformative and empowering about ignoring what you think you know about yourself, falling in love with something unexpected and then making it your own.  

While tidying the racks at Nest recently, I noticed a beautiful billowy black dress from one of our newest vendors, Nau. I loved how soft the fabric was (organic cotton and tencel), and how it was simple yet architectural and elegant.  I never wear dresses without defined waists. I also never wear anything that will draw attention to my legs and thighs. I put the dress back. “Not me,” I thought.  Nonetheless, I kept thinking about the dress. I wondered what it would look like if I wore it with heels or flats or a scarf or long earrings.  Finally, to satisfy my curiosity, I suspended my disbelief for a second and tried the dress on.  For a few minutes it looked neither good nor bad. It just looked….different. Then slowly I began to envision myself as the type of person who would wear something wonderfully short and loose.  The idea was exciting.

Wearing my new dress out that weekend felt like celebrating a private graduation. As insignificant as it may have been, I had gone from feeling insecure and limited by something to proudly wearing it. If you think about it this way, dressing is kind of a great stepping stone for bigger ventures in life. Not everything we try on is going to suit us, but when we are willing to experiment and think creatively, a world of possibilities can open up.

Josie’s tips for fearless shopping

• Stay away from magazines, tv and blogs that dole out shame and judgment.  Instead, find inspiration in media that encourages creativity and self expression. I love blogs that catalog and celebrate creative street fashion. Scott Schuman’s “The Satorialist” and Lisa Warninger’s “Urban Weeds” are two of my favorites.
• Every season I encourage myself to be on the lookout for one “foolish item.” I forget about the preferences that narrow my vision and start to see other colors and shapes that I never considered before. When I’m unfamiliar with the style I’m trying on, I take lots of sizes into the dressing room and consider different ways I could wear it. Finally, if I’m still digging it, I think about how I could transform the new item into something that feels like me and not a costume.
• Avoid shopping with friends who aren’t likely to support and encourage you when you want to try something different. Instead, shop with friends who are open to new possibilities and creative solutions.  I love trying things on with Nest sales associate Lisa in tow. I can always count on her to see potential in things I never would have considered. If you don’t have a Lisa, consult the store’s sales associates, they have lots of experience helping customers and a fresh perspective on what you may or may not like to wear. Plus, if you’re at Nest you may get the actual Lisa!